Share the credit and take the Blame .. if you think you are a good manager

Most people don’t leave their company, they leave you — their boss, We don't work for Organization either we work for our Managers.  If as Manager, you want engagement, you must show that you care.  Treat your employees as if they exists. Believe in your employees are equally accountable as you think you are.

Delegating is more than "off-loading the rubbish that you don’t want to do.” - Delegating is not offloading.  Delegate the work that you would love to do yourself and mentor them so that they can do it better than you can do.

Delegating effectively means sharing credit and taking blame. Trust them.  And, todays ethnic diverse world know other cultures value system. 

Do these - and then your employee will take the risks that are required for success. They’ll do it "with you and for you".

Seven tips for dealing with difficult people

We all face difficult people everyday at work, 
would not it be nice if we had this magic ball to deal with those we hate to deal with.   

Here is a compilation of Seven handy tricks that we can apply while dealing with difficult people .....

1. Attacking-aggressive person, best strategy is hold your ground and watch your emotions

As these can be yours greatest vulnerability. You should neither counterattack, which will either add fuel to the battle fire,  nor try to explain your point-of-views as attacker is not really listening to.

Here is one possible example: Attacking Manager is shouting at his employee.

        Manger. “Shout shout shout” 

        Employee “Is that all?”  

        Manger  “Shout, Shout Shout .. more shout” 

        Employee "Is there anything else?  Can I get back to work now?"

   Here is the non verbal message of “I care about what I do" 

2. Attacker, interrupt by evenly saying their name again and again

Doing this slow down the attacker, not that you are not questioning or clarifying .. you are just saying attckers name again and again.   

      Manger “Shout shout shout” 

     Employee: “Tim, Tim ...”

     Tim: “Never ever Interrupt me”

     Employee: “Tim, Tim ...”

Research shows this slow down the attacker, as aggressive people indeed likes assertive people, as long as assertiveness is nor perceived as attack.

3. People who snips just to get attention from others, ask intent questions  

Snipers are type of difficult people who sidetrack a meeting, make you look foolish with rude comments, or facial expression such as roll-of-the-eyes . In other words they don't say much but throw out those silly punch line to distract. These types simply like to get attention. They may as well have other motivation such as, not agreeing with the events or may have grudge against you.  

Best tools to deal with these type of difficult person is to ask “intent and relevancy questions”

        Intent question -   “When you say that, what are you really trying to say?”

        relevancy question - “What does this have to do with this problem we are focusing on”
                                         (bring the  purpose) 

4. know-it-all types and if they really know it all, there are few trick but the one i like is - turn them into mentors

5. “They think they know it all “ types - ask them some revealing clarification questions demanding specifics”

These type don't know what they don't know, you job is debunk them - Key here is to pretend curious and enthusiastic.
example :
“ Question the generalizations - words like every time with how many times, 
"Can you give an example to clarify?"    Key here is to pretend curious and enthusiastic.

6. Whiner, Draw the line

We all know these types - “The helpless and overwhelmed by unfair world”.
Best tool is don’t agree or disagree with their whining, shift the focus to the solution and draw the line.

 7.  “Nothing Person” - ask open ended questions

Nothing persons are other extreme - you get nothing from them 
To get the best out of them - ask open ended question, lighten up with humor and make them comfortable. 

Do what you love. It will feel like you ..

And ... It will be authentic.

“Intellectual passion drives out sensuality"Leonardo da Vinci

In any sport, profession, or competition, the difference between the top 5% and the rest of the crowd is passion.  The top 5% are typically exponentially better than the next in line and not just a little bit better.  This is because they are passionate about what there are doing and therefore achieve greatness.  

Hard work only does not produce success. It does not sustain success.  It is passion that drives success. Love for one's activity is infinitely more important to creating success than hard work. Yet for some obscure reason, we all : parents, teachers, and managers insist on emphasizing the importance of hard work - Do we really need hard-workers?

You can achieve modest results without being passionate, but it's unlikely that you will be able to compete with more passionate people.  They will work harder, longer, and pay more attention to detail than a non-passionate person.  The result will be a glaring difference between you and them.  So, to achieve great things you need to be passionate.

A excellent book on this topic is Ken Robinson’s “The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything”.  Element is where passion for doing something meets talent or aptitude  of doing something.  

Can I ask a stupid question?

I used to go to Vivekanada Center of New York for Sunday-Service. Swmijee was fun to listen to; Vedanta sounded like New York times columns.
One of the joke he told was as follows:
There are two elderly man sitting in Central park and the conversation goes like this...
      Man One: How old area You?
      Man Two: Answered, How soon do you need to know?

We all laughed. However, Is it really Stupid question?

When talking we are only covering what we already know. Only way to learn what other person needs to know (or what we already don't know) is to ask (stupid) question - and than listen to the answer.

Have you listen to a child? Have you noticed how often they ask “why?” - all the time.
Our social conditioning kills that curious child within us; there are many reasons: fear of being judged is among them.

Question is Powerful; Question Demands Answer; Question Stimulate Thinking.

Very early in my career, I was working with Swiss Banker about a banking system automation. I spend a day talking to him about all complex processes the Bank does, but did not ask about how do the Bank's normal day-to-days operation. Being a neophyte, I was happy knowing that I am learning complex operations.
At the end of the day Banker asked, “Do you know the meaning of your job - Business Analysis?” He said smiling you did only “B” part of job and dropped the A out of it. And key tool for a is “Ask Question”.

On the same note open ended question is better than close ended question
   exempli gratia:
         Close ended question: Can I help you?
         Open ended question: How can I help you?
Observe how the second statement prompts the object to ask for specific help.

So don't be afraid to ask question - it indeed is powerful

Personal and Private Victory

famous priority quadrant

You must have seen the book “The 7 Habits of highly effective people” in the bookstore selfs, in yours colleague’s desk; and If you are someone like me, possible you have ignored it. Yes I did, I ignored this treasure for about fourteen years of my professional career. 

This posting is dedicated to the wise man who showed me this light. 

This story is funny. I was part of a training program and the Instructor was talking about perception change or paradigm shift. He said something like this .. “Well if you think you can find a parking spot in New York city, you will find it, only thing is that you have to believe in it” .. I was like what? I was skeptical, I even raised my hand and asked “sorry I did no get it, that is impossible”. how?
Over coffee break I approached him and asked  “I know I am skeptical and I am not capable “outcome thinking”. may be this is possible, but how do I train my brain? How do I change the conditioning that I have gone through over the years? how do I “shift my paradigm” .. The guru smiled and told me have  you heard about the - “The 7 habits of highly effective People”book? .. Read that; may be that will help you.   

So when I got back, I run to the book store and got myself a copy of shinny red book, and funny thing is I did not know that I even had downloaded audio book version of this book but never listened to it. 

This book has absolutely changed my thinking. In summary the author Steven Covey embody fundamental principals of human effectiveness, these habits are basics and they are primary. They are principles on which enduring happiness and success are based. 

I have told about this book to everyone I could, so my dear friends get this book, if you have read it before, re-read-it. may be give his as gift to someone else. 

Recently we were organizing a career-day event for 7th grader in New york city school. We were asked to do something around empowerment for kids. I suggested we build games or talk around this 7-habits. and we did kids loved it 

Tone of your writing ...

“Don’t use that tone with me, please I feel as though you’re scolding me”

Not sure which movie this quote is from but this had stuck in my mind.

This is also very true in writing and I have learned it is hard way after unintentionally offending friends, family, colleagues, and Bosses.

This is also about focussing about positive and not the negatives. It is easy for us to write about what’s wrong, what we can’t promise, can’t do, can’t get; but most of the time this is not desirable tone. Negative word such as not, can’t, unfortunately, impossible are hints of negative tone.

Most of the time negative writing can be restructured in to a positive tone.. so take a deep breath... think positive and let positive thought guide you to write with positive tone.

Here is an example

Negative : I can’t finish this task now, I have other jobs to finish

Positive : As soon as I complete the higher priority work, I will finish this task.

... And here is great quote from a great singer song writer

“Once you replace negative thought with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” - Willie Nelson (American Country Singer - You are always n mind)