Seven tips for dealing with difficult people

We all face difficult people everyday at work, 
would not it be nice if we had this magic ball to deal with those we hate to deal with.   

Here is a compilation of Seven handy tricks that we can apply while dealing with difficult people .....

1. Attacking-aggressive person, best strategy is hold your ground and watch your emotions

As these can be yours greatest vulnerability. You should neither counterattack, which will either add fuel to the battle fire,  nor try to explain your point-of-views as attacker is not really listening to.

Here is one possible example: Attacking Manager is shouting at his employee.

        Manger. “Shout shout shout” 

        Employee “Is that all?”  

        Manger  “Shout, Shout Shout .. more shout” 

        Employee "Is there anything else?  Can I get back to work now?"

   Here is the non verbal message of “I care about what I do" 

2. Attacker, interrupt by evenly saying their name again and again

Doing this slow down the attacker, not that you are not questioning or clarifying .. you are just saying attckers name again and again.   

      Manger “Shout shout shout” 

     Employee: “Tim, Tim ...”

     Tim: “Never ever Interrupt me”

     Employee: “Tim, Tim ...”

Research shows this slow down the attacker, as aggressive people indeed likes assertive people, as long as assertiveness is nor perceived as attack.

3. People who snips just to get attention from others, ask intent questions  

Snipers are type of difficult people who sidetrack a meeting, make you look foolish with rude comments, or facial expression such as roll-of-the-eyes . In other words they don't say much but throw out those silly punch line to distract. These types simply like to get attention. They may as well have other motivation such as, not agreeing with the events or may have grudge against you.  

Best tools to deal with these type of difficult person is to ask “intent and relevancy questions”

        Intent question -   “When you say that, what are you really trying to say?”

        relevancy question - “What does this have to do with this problem we are focusing on”
                                         (bring the  purpose) 

4. know-it-all types and if they really know it all, there are few trick but the one i like is - turn them into mentors

5. “They think they know it all “ types - ask them some revealing clarification questions demanding specifics”

These type don't know what they don't know, you job is debunk them - Key here is to pretend curious and enthusiastic.
example :
“ Question the generalizations - words like every time with how many times, 
"Can you give an example to clarify?"    Key here is to pretend curious and enthusiastic.

6. Whiner, Draw the line

We all know these types - “The helpless and overwhelmed by unfair world”.
Best tool is don’t agree or disagree with their whining, shift the focus to the solution and draw the line.

 7.  “Nothing Person” - ask open ended questions

Nothing persons are other extreme - you get nothing from them 
To get the best out of them - ask open ended question, lighten up with humor and make them comfortable.